do the damn thing
Late last year, at some point, my best friend and I looked at running a 5K together in celebration of her upcoming 40th birthday in January. She wanted to be “running into her forties!” Such a lovely visual and to be honest, it hooked me immediately. Now…I’m not a runner, at all. So I started the Couch to 5K program with her. I completed the first week on schedule, 3 runs, check. We ran together the second week, still on schedule! However, by the end of the second week, I only had 4 runs in total. And that is where I hit the wall of perfectionism.
“Well…you’re already off schedule, why bother?” Said the inner critic to my tender heart. A point was definitely made + set in stone somehow (still not sure where that stone resides…).
“With this kind of dedication, there is no way you’ll ever be able to finish your training, let alone the actual 5K.” Said the saboteur to my tender heart.
Weeks went by…I didn’t run. Best friend diligently checking in with me, letting me know via text when she had run. I was so incredibly proud of her. For dedicating herself to something, committing to the unsexy part of training, and holding herself accountable.
“See…this is how you do it!” Said the perfectionist self to my tender heart. Always so snarky, that one.
I ran one more time just before Christmas. For the first time, it felt doable. Did I follow through on that feeling? Hell no. My tender heart had let everything it heard find a nice cushy spot to nestle in and cuddle up. Saboteur, Perfectionist and Inner Critic were residing very comfortably in my body. I gave them a week, then another, and yet another…
Can you see where I’m going with this? It is a large part of the story of my life. I get super excited about something, I have the dream and the support to make it happen, and I somehow let go, for a myriad of reasons to be sure, but definitely all of my own doing.
This story doesn’t actually turn out just like the others though…
The week before I was to run the 5K with the best friend, I attended a retreat in Petaluma, Ca. that LIT ME UP!! It was our intro weekend to the CLCC program. The Courageous Living Coach Certification Program. See that? Courageous is right in there. I was enrolled in a Courageous program! So didn’t I owe it to myself to follow through on the 5K? Not only to support my best friend turning 40, but to support myself??
“YES!!!” I shouted to myself, mostly in my head, but I did raise my arms in victory!!
So I showed up…for myself…for my best friend. Even though I didn’t complete even half the training, I ran that 5K. I ran it and praised myself for showing up and doing the THING, even though it wasn’t perfect and even though I had to slow down a bit to complete it. I did it. I’m still proud of myself. It is definitely one of the most significant turning points in my life. It also turns out, my best friend wasn’t just running into her forties, she was running into motherhood, being just a month or so pregnant, she’s proven to be quite the inspiration to me. So thank you, lovely best friend, for encouraging me in all areas of my life, but especially in just doing the damn THING!! I loved crossing that finish line with you and can’t wait for our next adventure.